That's why I came back. I guess I never really told anyone I just. Hoped you would all...

[He'd gone home just long enough to turn his life on its back and leave it there, kicking helplessly like a stranded turtle. He could barely approach the topic sideways in conversation, most days, and coming out to say what had been happening with him.... that had been too intimidating.]

I couldn't... I didn't... It's...This isn't really what I meant to say.