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Andaran atish’an.
Andaran atish’an.
[ Ellana takes the apple and presses her nose to the skin for a moment. It's a good apple. It doesn't have that cidery smell to it, and certainly doesn't have any brown, mushy spots. She takes a big bite and sighs happily to have fresh fruit. Tucking the note away on her person, she goes in search of Gavin, hoping he's in the camp. If not, she'll have to hope he has his sending crystal on him. ]
[He's still in the camp, finally relaxing by taking off his sodden boots and putting his feet much too close to the fire. He's so absorbed that he doesn't notice Ellana at all, at first, and when he finally does it's too late to run away. His ears twitch, pulling down a touch as he looks a bit worried.]
...Hey.
...Hey.
Hey.
[ She takes a seat near him, but with enough space to fit another person between them. ]
Thank you for the apple.
[ It's an easy way to start up a conversation with him, because it's hard to know where they stand. She doesn't want to keep forgiving him for his behavior. For running away. For worrying everyone. ]
I was worried about you.
[ She takes a seat near him, but with enough space to fit another person between them. ]
Thank you for the apple.
[ It's an easy way to start up a conversation with him, because it's hard to know where they stand. She doesn't want to keep forgiving him for his behavior. For running away. For worrying everyone. ]
I was worried about you.
I know.
[He did know. Intellectually, at least, he knew. Not that he thought he needed to care more than he did. He cared so much, so often, that it immobilized him. At least he knew that no one could really see that. And he knew that was his fault. But he was pretty sure that caring more would probably kill him.]
[He shuffled, slightly, and then opened his arms - a silent offer, and one she could easily ignore if she wanted.]
[The hesitation saddens him, and he's about to lower his arms when she finally moved over. He lets out a breath as she hugs him, and he wraps his arms around her shoulders and squeezes back - much more confidently than she had. Physical affection had always managed to get through to him when words could not, so it meant a lot more to him than it probably did to her.]
[ The way he squeezes her tight gets a smile out of her, and that's a step in the right direction. Gavin is truly a frustrating person, but she hates the idea of not having him in her life. It's hard to accept that he is the way he is, and it's not that she wants him to change for other people. She looks at him and sees someone who can be so brave, but also so foolish. The way his ears droop when he knows he's done wrong just makes her want to help him. If there was only a way to do that while not making it into a thing where Gavin no longer felt like himself anymore.
Now she rocks a little in his embrace, side to side, and adds a little humming as she smiles up at him. There's nothing she can do to prevent him from running from his problems. But at least she can try to lift his spirits here. ]
Now she rocks a little in his embrace, side to side, and adds a little humming as she smiles up at him. There's nothing she can do to prevent him from running from his problems. But at least she can try to lift his spirits here. ]
[He begins to relax, when she hums, and when he finally pulls back from the embrace, his ears are no longer drooping. He holds onto her arms by the shoulders, squeezing slightly.]
I'm sorry. I'm going to do better, Ellana. I will. I'll stop disappointing you all.
[ It's something she wants to believe; it really is. But all the evidence has pointed to Gavin's promises not lasting, and Ellana isn't as naive as everyone seems to think. She's no longer taken in by pretty words that amount to nothing in the end. She knows Gavin isn't lying to her and he truly will try, but she doesn't think he'll succeed.
And yet Ellana isn't going to make mention of that. She can't upset him when he's trying. So she smiles, nods, and gives his own shoulder a squeeze. ]
Thank you, Gavin. You know I just worry, don't you? I want you to be safe and happy.
And yet Ellana isn't going to make mention of that. She can't upset him when he's trying. So she smiles, nods, and gives his own shoulder a squeeze. ]
Thank you, Gavin. You know I just worry, don't you? I want you to be safe and happy.
I know.
[He didn't, not really. Or at least, he didn't entirely believe it. Even from Ellana. Safe and Happy for everyone else seemed to mean something different for him, but that was hardly new.]
I'm sorry for taking it out on you. You didn't do anything to deserve it, I promise.
I'm sorry for shoving you.
[ Her gaze lowers, ashamed of herself. But she'd been so worried, so frustrated, and there he was serving his punishment, not even thinking of how she might feel. Not coming to find her and show her he was all right. She'd lashed out at him out of pure emotion. ]
You didn't deserve that either.
[ Her gaze lowers, ashamed of herself. But she'd been so worried, so frustrated, and there he was serving his punishment, not even thinking of how she might feel. Not coming to find her and show her he was all right. She'd lashed out at him out of pure emotion. ]
You didn't deserve that either.
It's alright.
[He gives her a small smile - pulling up one side of his face but not the other. It was alright, because he was used to it.
It was alright, because Merrick did far worse.]
I have to get back to latrine duty, but I'll... I'll catch up with you later.
[It's possible he's not making sense. He is decently out of it after the amount of time he had spent trying to stabilize Merrick. And trying to calm Cyril down.]
There isn't anything you can do. I just wanted to keep you in the loop since it seemed the others hadn't thought of it.
Merrick was poisoned. I assume they meant it to kill him, but it didn't... We've stabilized him, but he's still fighting it off.
There isn't anything you can do. I just wanted to keep you in the loop since it seemed the others hadn't thought of it.
Merrick was poisoned. I assume they meant it to kill him, but it didn't... We've stabilized him, but he's still fighting it off.
But... but he's healing? He's going to be all right, isn't he?
[ There's a tremble to her voice that she's trying to keep under control. The thought of losing Merrick makes her sick to her stomach, and the world without him wouldn't feel right at all. ]
When did this happen?
[ There's a tremble to her voice that she's trying to keep under control. The thought of losing Merrick makes her sick to her stomach, and the world without him wouldn't feel right at all. ]
When did this happen?
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